The Great Wedding Vow Debate: Who Should Go First?

While traditional ceremonies often had a set "standard," modern weddings are all about what feels right for the two of you. Whether you’re a stickler for etiquette or looking to flip the script, here is how to decide who goes first with their wedding vows .

1. The Traditional Approach

If you’re leaning into a classic ceremony, tradition usually dictates the order the wedding vows go in. Historically, in many Western cultures, the Groom goes first, followed by the Bride.

2. The Emotional Forecaster

Let’s be real: one of you is likely to be a "happy crier," and the other might be a bit more composed.

• The Case for the Crier Going First: Some couples prefer to let the more emotional partner go first so they can get through their words before the "ugly cry" fully sets in.

• The Case for the Composed Partner Going First: On the flip side, having the more stoic partner go first can help set a steady pace for the ceremony before things get beautifully sentimental.

3. Length and Tone

If you haven't shared your vows with each other yet (which most couples don't!), you might want to check in on the word count.

• The "Opener" Strategy: If one of you has written a shorter, punchier set of vows, they make a great "opening act."

• The "Grand Finale" Strategy: If one of you has written an epic, sweeping poetic masterpiece, it might feel more natural as the closing sentiment before the "I dos."

4. Rock, Paper, Scissors (The "Fair" Method)

Why not leave it to fate and keep it lighthearted and spontaneous.

There’s lots of fun things you could consider. Here’s some things I have included in ceremonies:

• Rock paper scissors

• Rolling dice

• Tossing a coin

• Football cup draw style

• Guest raffle / Bingo

• Guest Quiz

• Chance cards

• Traitors style chest of chance

• Play your cards right

• Scratch cards

• Mystery shot

• Picking a playing card

How will you decide who goes first with your vows?